Mo the Mosquito's response to the Devil Del

Ghost writer Darin from the memoirs of Mo the Mosquito

The scene in our living room this past Wednesday of wanton mosquito death and destruction caused by the evil Del and Kerry (and Jake) reminded me of an episode of the Mosquito Hunter, from the memoirs of Mo the Mosquito:

Mo: "Look at these beautiful creatures in their natural habitat, the living room of one Del and Darin. As they go about their normal business of obtaining nutrients from what looks like plant life and dead animal a normally calm situation seems to my heightened insect senses to be changing for the worse. Could their agitation be due to my presence as well as the presence of hundreds of hungry colleagues (mosquitoes...duh). Let's look in more closely. Now, for you viewers at home I'm in no real danger. I'm keeping my distance and.....DARN, They've spotted me!"

Del, "AAAAAAAHHHHH, THEY ARE SWARMING ME. BITING ME IN AREAS I CAN'T EVEN MENTION. GET THEM OFF ME, PLEASE. I'M TENDER AND SWEET!"

Mo: "All chance at an unobserved observation appears to be lost. However, to be honest, a feeding frenzy is fun (we can't really change who we are, can we?). Therefore, I swing into action. Two targets present themselves. Darin, with his putrid, vile blood (honestly, smells like Lima beans...ugh!) is definitely the meal of last resort. Del, so sweet, so succulent. I must taste that sweet sweet nectar...IT'S MINE AND MINE ALONE! Unfortunately it appears all 200 of my hungry mosquito friends have the same thoughts and ideas."

Mo: "MAAAASSSS ATTACK!!!! Wait, she's on to us. SHE'S FIGHTING BACK! 3 of us make it through and taste that delectable blood nectar, if only briefly. The evil human she-devil kills two of us (you will be remembered as martyrs, brothers!) but I could tell they thought it was worth it. Sweet blood or death!!!...or both (gulp) .... just give me her sweet sweet delicious delectable blood!!!"

Mo: "Now it's my turn, my opportunity. I'm swooping in for the sting, and WOW am I fast. Nothing can stop me, I'm the best there ever was! Better than the great prophet Mohsquited. I avoid all the flack coming my way... pillows, shirts, tennis balls, even what appears to be a banana (I'm confused about that one). I remain on target (Great fly in the sky, I can almost taste the fruits of my labor!) when--swoosh-- what appears to be male underwear flies through the air to force me way off target and at the same time kills three of my wingmen. Underwear???? Damn weapons of mass destruction! They have so may ways of killing you"

Mo: "One last chance, a feint within a false attack within a diversion. I jive left (she's got her eye on me). 3 compatriots zoom toward her face, distracting her long enough for me to zoom right toward her lower ankle, sink my fangs into her sweet tender flesh, and start extracting the nectar of this god. IT WORKS, and ooooooooooohhhh, WOOOOOW, better than I thought it could ever be!"


"Just as I almost had my fill my heightened senses alerted me to a new, unfamiliar intruder. Short, long nose, bad breath, beady eyes, and what appeared to be some sort of hyperactivity disorder. He SEES ME...HE'S COMING FOR ME. Only one last chance. Remove my needle from delectable Del and get the heck out of there....but I'm so full..my belly is sloshing full of her wonderful nectar."

I have to hurry. HE'S GETTING CLOSE. I CAN SMELL THE FISH ON HIS BREATH, SEE HIS TEETH, HEAR HIS FRANTIC WHINING. I'm almost away. I need only a fraction of a second more....I think I'm going to make it

GULP